


Dick Souls, A Dark Souls Parody

by Shadowangel615



Series: The Smut Parodies! [1]
Category: Dark Souls I
Genre: Blood, F/M, Hacked Game, Pure Smut, bad comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-27 16:45:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15689391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowangel615/pseuds/Shadowangel615
Summary: Dark Souls is released for the third time, but this time it's in Virtual Reality. A young man wants to get the game but can't afford it. However, he receives a free copy from a mysterious stranger. When he tests it out, he finds that it is indeed what the man told him, the same game, but better.





	1. The Undead Asylum

**Author's Note:**

> This is a pure smut, that means that all this really is going to be is just some massive Smut quest where there's going to be sex, sex, blood, and more sex with a side of plot.
> 
> Shadowangel615 looked his story over and said to himself, "What the fuck did I even create?!"  
> Suddenly his roof collapsed almost on top of him and God being portrayed by Morgan Freeman floated Casually.  
> "You created an art piece." Morgan Freeman said.  
> "I created my second worst story ever, the worst was probably that bullshit Mortal Kombat and Warriors Crossover, like what the fuck?"  
> "No Shadow, this' an art piece that only the right people would read, it is your Mona Lesa. Goodbye." Morgan Freeman said and left to Heaven.  
> "Can you at least fix my roof?" Shadow asked.  
> "Not my problem." Morgan Freeman replied.

 Terry awoke early in the morning, the sunlight beaming through his windows. It shined across his pale white skin and dark brown hair. His hazel eyes came into view as he drowsily awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside. He looked at his phone and saw that he had a text from his boss saying that he was late again. His eyes widened as he dashed out of the room with his shirt barely on. He dashed out down the sidewalk, thankful his work was only across the street. When he walked in, he was greeted with his big titted rscottish coworker, Ellen.

 "Terry, you alright." she said, her accent a little apparent.

"Huh? Yeah, I just woke up late again." He replied.

"Oh, alright, hey, some weird guy was asking for you earlier." Ellen said as she followed him to his aisle.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he said his name was Caltrop or Caleb or something." She said.

 

"I don't know a Caleb, and Caltrop? Who would have a name as stupid as that? Is he still here?" He asked.

"Yeah, he's over by the milk." Ellen said and led him to the stranger.

He followed her, curious as to just who this was. He wanted to know just who was looking for him and why. When they reached the place he needed to go to, he found that there was a man in a long black trench coat and fedora. Long black jeans and a black scarf covered his body along with a pair of gloves and sunglasses. The man/woman/sexual predator/stalker/whoever they were, reached into their pocket and fished out a wrapped up object. Terry took it and looked at a card tied to it. He picked it off the wrapped object read it.

"Dear Terry, I understand that you've been anticipating this game for a while now but hadn't earned enough money to buy it. I, however, had recreated the game to every last detail, and more. You will find this to be more entertaining than the original, the Same Game, But Better. ~Calypso."

"What's it say?" Ellen asked as Terry removed the wrapping.

He removed it and his eyes widened when he realized it was Dark Souls, but noticed that there was something different about this one. The a in Dark had been replaced with I, making it say Dick Souls. He also noticed that the knight on the front was more feminine and was making a seductive pose. He blushed before hiding it and making sure that no one was looking at it.

"What is it?" Ellen asked.

"It's a copy of Dark Souls, but, something's weird about it." He said.

"Liiiiike?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, not here anyway." He said and looked up, "wait, where'd Calypso go?"

"Wasn't he there just a second ago?" Ellen asked.

"Holy shit, we just got Batmaned." Terry said.

They looked around for a few more minutes and gave up before returning to their aisle. Terry's thoughts of the strange person lingered as he stocked the shelves full of jars and boxes, wondering how they knew who he was. He decided that Calypso had been some kind of Stalker following him around all day and left it at that. Once his day was over, he made his way home with Ellen beside him.

He looked back every now and then, making sure that he wasn't being followed while Ellen went on about how her friend, a prostitute was trying to get her back into the business, despite having told her numerous times that she was done banging people for money.

"I just don't know what to do about her, anyway, sorry for dumping this on you." she said, "You're a good friend ya know that?"

"Yeah, it's fine." he said as they walked up to his place.

"I mean it, you hang out a lot with a girl who used to be a prostitute, it means a lot to me." She said, "I now you probably keep me around for my tits but still, it means a lot to me that you'll let me stay."

He opened his mouth to protest before saying, "actually there may be some truth to that. Just don't replace all the milk this time with breast milk again, that's disgusting."

"Or what? You'll kick me out?" Ellen replied.

"I'll just have to punish you then." He smirked.

They stepped up to the front door and kicked off their shoes after entering before Terry walked into the living room and grabbed a headset. It looked similar to the one they used in the anime Sword Art Online, an anime the author of this story refused to watch after, like, one or two episodes. The difference was, that this helmet didn't have the ability to microwave someone's brain.

Before he could put on the headset, he heard Ellen's voice in the other room and looked to see her standing in the middle of the doorway wearing nothing but her panties. She walked up to him and moved around him in a seductive manor before getting him to place the helmet aside for a moment.

 "I think it's time for me to pay my daily rent." She said.

 "Talk to me after I check out this game." He said, holding up the game's case.

 "Fine, there's some leftovers from last night, how's that sound?" She asked.

 "Sounds good." He said.

 "Alright."

 He smiled and watched her make her way to the kitchen before picking up the headset and popping the side open. He opened the case and took out the disk to insert in into the helmet before turning it on and placing it on his head, laying down after. He opened the chatroom app and became his avatar,Artorias the Abysswalker. Another person entered soon after with a Griffith Avatar, his friend Molg.

 "Hey man, what's up?" Terry asked.

 "Nothing much, you still hanging around with that Prostitute?" Molg asked.

 "Damn, you get a lot of pussy?"

 "Trust me, she can be a disgusting roommate, you don't wanna know. Anyway, that aside, I met someone named Calypso today, they gave me a strange version of Dark Souls." He said.

 "Oh really? What about it?" He asked.

 "Not sure, I'll tell you about it when I get the chance, it should be almost done installing now anyway."

 "Alright, see you when you get off I guess." Molg said and left the chatroom.

 Terry left as well, noticing that Dark Souls had finished installing. He entered the game and found himself in another chatroom, a private one. He was surrounded by a large group and looked up to see the number 100 high in the air before a white light appeared and a woman in a black cloak wearing a silver mask stepped out.

 "Hello everyone, I am Calypso. I gave you each a copy of Dick Souls. This chatroom currently has 100 others besides me, 50 men and 50 women. Now about the game itself, Dick Souls is a porn game crated by me and me alone. Depending on your character's gender, you will have to fight opponents of the opposite gender in a battle of sex, however, PVP is not gender restricted. which means men will be banging men and women will be banging women sometimes. Also depending on your gender, you will be given either a cock or pussy, these are your weapons. Pyromancies and Spells are also much different, however, I will let you see that for yourself. Should you require any other help on what to do with some items in the game, enter the pause menu and there will be an option with a Mask just like mine. In this game, humanities are replaced with virginities and souls replaced with pleasure. Swords, axes, and whatnot still remain, however I have added sex objects as well for both weapons and armor. That's all for now, should you require my help again remember the icon of my mask." Calypso said and disappeared, sending everyone into the game as well.

 Terry soon found himself at the title screen, the words Dick Souls shining before him. He shrugged and reached for the new game option before being sent into the opening cutscene, being greeted with the normal gray fog.

"In the age of ancients...

 The world was unformed...

 Shrouded by a land of grey crags, archtrees, and ever horny dragons." The narrator said as two dragons fucking.

 Both human-like but with scaly reptile-like arms and legs as well as horns and tails. The male had just came inside the female's womb before continuing to bang her some more.

 "Then there was fire...

 and with fire came lust...

 heat...

 and cold...

 life...

 and death...

 and of course...

 light...

 and dark..." The screen began to pan downward into a scene with silhouettes banging endlessly before the narrator spoke again, "And from the dark, they came. And found the souls of whores, within the flame."

 Nito appeared first as a female with short white hair and purple eyes. Her body seemed to be just like the normal one, however he could see her nude form behind the skeletons. Next came Witch of Izalith, however she was called the Bitch of Izalith. She and her daughters wore the normal cloaks, however their breasts were all massive and stood so their pussies could be seen. Next was Gwyn, her name being Gwen, The Whore of Sunlight. She was normal, however she stood only with a pair of leather stockings and panties while her massive breasts were held up by her arms, her knights, whom were all female, had normal sized breasts and pussies exposed however. Lastly there was the furtive pygmy, so easily forgotten, but seemed to be a female hollow with normal sized breasts and smooth decaying skin and long white hair.

 "With the strength of whores,

 They challenged the dragons...

 Gwen's mighty bolts excited their horny sides...

 The Bitches of Izalith weaved great firestorms...

 Nito unleashed a miasma of sexual desire...

 And Seath the Scaleless Betrayed her own...

 And the dragons were no more...

 Thus began the age of fire...

 But soon the flames will fade,

 and only dark will remain...

 Even now there are only embers...

 And man see's not light,

 but endless nights...

 and amongst the living are seen,

 carriers of the accursed Darksign..."

 It soon brought him to the cage. The narrator gave him her final words before he looked at a panel of classes and chose to be a Deprived and found himself nude and with barely a sword to work with. He also found that he had the same smooth decayed skin and white colored hair as the Pygmy and everyone else around. He jumped suddenly when he saw a body fall from the roof and looked up to see the Knightess Oscar. She left him quickly after before he touched the blue fire and saw the key, picking it up and looking at the three females before him. Hw also noticed messages scratched into the ground before him. Touching the first one, he found that it said, and not surprisingly, "Spanking Does Extra Damage".

He sighed, having had a feeling their'd be something like this before he walked up behind the nearest undead and grabbed her hips before he thrusted himself inside her. The undead moaned as he banged her softly, her personality being more like a broken sex slave, allowing him to do whatever he wanted to do to her. She quickly came soon after and caused a number in the bottom right of his vision to go up. He sighed in embarrassment as he moved over to the next girl and moved her down to her side and lifted her leg. He did the same to her, banging her until she came before he repeated this process to the third.

 Leaving the hallway, he saw one last girl in the room filled with water ahead. He stepped up in front of her and lifted her chin, smiling before he pressed his lips against hers while he pressed his tip into her. He pushed her against the wall as she ran her hands along his back while he moved his hips into her at a quick pace, her cumming quickly after. he softly set her in the water and looked at her pleasure filled face and before he made his way up the ladder. After that, he saw a bonfire and an option came up. He tapped the Light Bonfire option and the bonfire came to life before he decided to rest a moment. He then got up and began opening the massive doors to where the Asylum Demon would come crashing down on him and was shocked that to see her form.

 Her body had become more human in this version. She bore massive breasts and smooth skin along with a long tail and the same crown atop her head as the old Asylum Demon. As much as he wanted to bang her now, he needed the extra damage from the club. knowing where the side exit was, he made a mad dash to escape before rolling under the massive demon's hammer, expecting it to hurt like hell. Then a thought occurred to him, if he defeated her now he could get it's hammer. He decided to make the bold move and ran towards her. Dodging to the right before she could slam her hammer onto him. She tried stepping forward and tripped, falling on her hands and knees and allowing him access to her womanhood. Taking this chance, he jumped over her leg and took the chance while it lasted before she could get up and entered her. She let off a loud moan before he began rolling his hips and banging her roughly. Her health bar began decreasing at a slow and steady pace as he did but he noticed hat his was decreasing as well, so he decided to do what the option before said and spanked her. She moaned out loudly as more of her health went down but not enough. He noticed her was in trouble, however when her health had only gotten a quarter down but only a bit remained in him to continue. Finally he came and the words, "You Came" flashed in front of him before he fell backward and found himself back at the bonfire.

 "If I were to give my thoughts on this game so far, it'd be definitely better than the original." He said to himself.

 He walked back into the room and saw his pleasure on the ground behind the Asylum Demon, waiting while her pussy dripped with his seed. He made his second bold move today and dashed for his pleasure, maneuvering around her hammer once more. He managed to grab his pleasure and dashed for the open door in the side. He escaped successfully before it could defeat him once more an moved to the bonfire down below. He lit that one as well before he walked over to a doorway and saw an undead wielding a longbow. He ducked behind the wall and took a deep breath before he moved out of the first arrow before rolling into a room with another body with an item. Touching the flame, he saw the Plank Shield meant for his class. Tapping on the item, it immediately equipped itself onto him and glowed as it appeared on his arm.

 Smirking, he dashed down the hallway, blocking the arrows as they came before the undead ran off. He found his weapon, the wooden club, and opened the pause menu. He saw the added option and opened the weapons tab before replacing his broken straight sword with the said club. He exited the pause menu and chased after her. She readied her bow once more but was stopped when Terry disarmed her. He spun her around and got her on her hands, noticing that she obtained an aroused expression. He wasted no time in entering her before moving his hips at a quick pace. He pulled her up and filled his hands with her mounds as he felt her walls close around him. Her moans echoed through the hall as the undead felt herself finish before him, sliding off his cock and face first into the floor. He stood up and noticed her turn her head to see her satisfied expression.

 He looked at the fog wall and stepped through, seeing the bars with the knightess, Oscar, behind them. He rounded the corner and made his way up a staircase before he could hear something rolling down the staircase. He dodged to the side and avoided it,, hearing the wall crumble from the object's force. Dropping onto the second staircase, he made his way to where the object went through and peeked inside to see Oscar. Walking up to her noticed the talk option and tapped it to see two options, Talk and Fuck. He blinked twice before he tapped the talk option.

 "Oh, you're no Hollow, are you? Thank goodness. I am Oscar of Astora, hear me out, would you?" She said and the yes or no option appeared, he picked yes, "Thank goodness, I'm done for I'm afraid. Soon, I'll die here, then I'll only gain intense lust. But perhaps you can keep the torch lit. There's an old saying in my family, Thou who art undead art chosen, to leaveth thine undead Asylum in pilgrimage, to the land of ancient whores, when thou ringeth thine bell of awakening, the fate of the undead thou shalt know. So now you know, and I can die here. Here, take this."

 When she said that, a screen appeared, showing that he had received the Estus Flask.

 "An Estus Flask, an undead favorite. It heals the wounds and lengthens one's time before ejaculating. Here, take this too." She said and gave him the key, "Now go, I wouldn't wish to her you further."

 He refused to listen to her and instead tapped the talk option and tapped Fuck.

 "What's that? You wish to lay with me? Hmm... I see no problem with it, I'll die soon anyway. At least you asked though." She said before she tried to sit up.

 She winced as she tried to move before she gripped his shaft and began to stroke him slowly. After a few moments she began to do so harder, causing Terry to let off a soft moan. She winced as she tried to get to her knees before taking off her helmet and allowing her pale skin and short blond hair to be seen and began sucking his tip, lifting her tunic up just over her breasts as well. She wrapped his cock between them after a minute and licked his tip as she rubbed her breasts up and down his shaft. Once more she began sucking his tip as he felt himself coming closer to his climax before he got her to stop and pulled down her breeches to her knees. Her A.I. Processed this information and got onto her knees before he pressed his member inside her. He moved his hips into her at a quick pace and pulled her up like the previous one and groped her from behind, massaging her mounds as he pounded her womanhood. He felt her leather gloves trail up his before it stopped a her face and pulled him into a deep kiss as he felt himself about to release. With a few more thrusts, he let loose his load inside Oscar's womb as she let loose an orgasm of her own.

 Once it was over, Oscar looked at him and said, "Now go, I would not wish to harm you after death."

 He sighed, knowing he couldn't save her and left the area, hearing the sound of a blade pierce through her body. He knew she didn't want to hurt him, but hearing that sound was somewhat heart wrenching to hear. Stepping up after the staircase he saw another undead charge at him and push him to the ground. She looked at his member and licked her lips before she moved her head down to suck it. Be watched as she bobbed her head up and down his member before he was able to take back control and held her up to lick her wet core. She felt this and moaned as he swirled his tongue around her womanhood, cumming soon after she failed to get his semen, but bore the face of satisfaction they all had when he made them cum.

 The undead fell aside with her head hanging off the the right before he walked up to the cage door and used the key Oscar gave him to open it. Outside there seemed to be nothing until two of them began walking towards him. He remembered an archer in the background as well and rolled between the first two and ran at the archer, pushing her to the ground and putting his length inside her. The other two walked up behind him and looked before one had the archer suck and lick her clit while the other propped her up on the two, her knees on the girl's shoulder so she could do what the archer would do to her while Terry's arm was wrapped around her waist. They all let off loud moans that might've been a turn on to terry if it hadn't become annoying at this point. He felt the girl in his arms writhe in pleasure as the one below's walls tightened around his cock. He noticed his health dropping and thus used some estus to bring it back up. Finally, the three girl's let off a screech of pleasure as all three came at the same time.

 Tired, he stood up and stretched before heading into a room with an armored undead, shield and sword at the ready. She charged at him and he blocked he parried her sword as she thrust it towards him and fell backwards. Terry got on top of her and tore her armor from her body leaving her nude and aroused as she looked up at him with an aroused smile. He pressed his member into her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He moved his arms down and gripped her ass before he moved her up and down his length. He buried his head into the crook of her neck as she neared her climax, feeling like he was gonna lose the fight. He spanked her once and thrusted into her a few more times before he felt her climax.

 Laying her to the side he sat beside her took a sip of his Estus before kissing her cheek and saying, "thanks for the sex."

 He then got up and made his way to the doorway, his eyes set towards the Fog Wall and thought for a moment how a plunging attack would work. Then he opened the pause menu and sent a message to Calypso. She responded immediately and said that once he attacked from above he would have a few seconds to put it in before the effects of the Plunging attack disappeared. He closed the menu and stepped through the fog wall before dropping down on the Demon and sending her falling forward. He moved back quickly while she was down and  pushed his member into her hastily. The feeling of this hellish Demon's insides felt more like he was banging Heavenly Angel as he began moving his hips into her at soft, yet, pleasing place. He heard the demon's moans spanked her once before she pulled him closer to her breasts, allowing him to suckle her for her breastmilk. The demon's health began to deplete faster as he wrapped his arms around her waist, noticing his health would soon be almost gone. Once she was at a quarter he popped another Estus and moved his arms to her breasts, rubbing her nipples together before suckling off of both of them at once. After a few more minutes, he picked up the pace before using one more Estus, the Demon's moans becoming louder as milk leaked from Terry's lips and down her breasts. Soon he popped his last Estus and found that their health was close to each other. He held onto hope as he gave three final thrusts into her before her moan echoed throughout what was probably the entire Asylum. He took a few steps back and looked at her face of pleasure while her body twitched in what seemed to be pleasure as well. She continued to leak her juices as milk streamed down her breasts, onto her side and into the ground beneath her.

 Suddenly, the words, "BITCH FUCKED" appeared onscreen and he received his items. Tapping Okay, he turned to the door and used the key to open it. Remembering where Snuggly was, he made his way carefully to her nest and saw a girl at at least 15 years of age with short black hair, black wings for arms, and a metal that covered her orange bird-like legs. Deciding to come back later, he moved up to where the massive crow would take him and heard the Narrator speak. Suddenly the crow showed up, it's body seeming much like Snuggly's except much more matured with gray skin and black legs instead of orange. She pulled him close and kept him where he could see her average sized breasts bounce with each flap of her wings.

 Soon he had found himself in Firelink with the Crow woman perched on the ruins above. He looked around for a moment before he decided to pause and head to the options menu so he could exit the game. He exited the game and found an invite to a private chatroom from Calypso. He accepted and found him in a well decorated area with a beautiful view of mountains. He walked by a fountain and heard Calypso cough behind him and turned to see her using a Ciaran Avatar.

 "Hello Terry." She said.

 "Hey." He replied nonchalantly.

 "You know, back at the store I thought you were quite a handsome man..." She said, walking behind him and running her finger along his shoulder, "it kinda made me want to fuck you all day."

 "I hang out with a prostitute, I get more than enough pussy already." He said.

 "True, but I like you, and I plan to hold a PVP Tournament tomorrow, and the prize is me as a girlfriend." She said, "Just think about it, you could get twice as much pussy than you would a day."

 "Do I have to sign up or is everyone involved?" He asked.

 "You have to sign up, and I hope you do, I know that pervy side of yours is very strong, win and you'll receive a custom Artorias avatar from me as well." She said.

 "It's a tempting offer, but you'll have to give me something to work for." He said.

 Calypso opened a menu and sent him a picture of her wearing an unzipped hoodie with her breasts exposed and he legs spread with her panties and jeans pulled down to her knees. Her pale skin seemed to be covered in whipped cream as well. However her face was concealed by the hood over her head and scarf and sunglasses over her face.

 "Fine, I'll join your tournament." He said.

 "Oh good, and feel free to keep the picture I sent you as a motivational poster or whatever, just make sure to win." She said.

 "Got it." He said and left the chatroom.

 When he turned off the headset, he sniffed and smelled Bacon and eggs on the air.

 "What's cooking?" He asked.

 "I couldn't find the leftovers so I'm making bacon and eggs." She replied.

 Hearing this he decided to strip his clothes and walked into the kitchen. He silently crept up behind her, noticing she wore nothing but an apron.

 When he was directly behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and said, "Turn off the stove, you've still got to pay your rent. Besides, I'll make do with something else to eat tonight, wouldn't you agree?"

 She smirked and said, "Yeah, that works for me."

 "Let's head to my room then." He said and pulled her out of the kitchen.

 He brought her to his room and through her onto his bed before getting on top of her and pressing his lips against hers. He placed his tip against her womanhood and pressed forward into her. Once his whole length was inside her, he moved down to her neck and began to gnaw on her sweet spot and began moving his hips inside her. He pulled away after a moment and pulled her into a deep kiss. He soon picked up the pace but felt her take the position on top and rolled her hips as she road him. He bucked his hips up into her before feeling her walls tighten around is cock, something he had grown used to feeling during his time in Dick Souls. The two of them came at the same time, but didn't stop. Ellen moed to the side and felt him pull her closer before thrusting into her more.

 "You've payed your rent, but I think it's time for dinner." He said.

 "I think so too." She said and slipped his cock out of her.

 She turned around and licked his shaft from the base to the tip before she began sucking his tip while Terry had begun to eat her out. After a few more moments, Ellen began to bob her head up and down while Terry began squeezing her rear. The two continue their "dinner" for another half hour before Terry decided he'd charge Ellen extra, something she didn't seem to mind at all. Soon enough, they were laying side by side, gasping for air.

(Elsewhere)

 Calypso watched her computer, rubbing her womanhood as she watched Terry and Ellen bang.

 "I hope you can do that to me soon..." She said and let off a loud moan before cumming hard.


	2. Undead Berg Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So in case you liked the last chapter, here's another one! Yay! Not really, I'm actually curious as to why ou would even like the last one, like, what's so good about it? It was horribly written and had a sex scene after each sex scene. Anyway, here's the next chapter, have fun:)

Terry stocked the shelves full of Jars. He turned to his left once he was finished and saw Ellen standing there with her back turned. She cocked her head to the side and smirked in a naughty way, pulling down her pants so he could see her ass and pussy. He sighed and made sure no one looked before he crept behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist before whispering, "we're at work."

 "No one's looking."

 "What if we get caught?"

 "We won't."

 "You'll make too much noise."

 "We'll see."

 "You really wanna do this?"

 "Wouldn't be the first time we've done this."

 "Maybe tomorrow." He said and walked away.

 She sighed in dissatisfaction before pulling her pants and panties back up and getting back to her shift. As Terry got to work he spotted a man with dark brown hair tied back into a small ponytail. He thought he recognized the man by his Short Boxed Beard and short ponytail, despite the fact that he was wearing a trench coat, fedora and sunglasses before he left to the counter to pay for his item. He shrugged it off before he went back to work, thinking of what he would do to Calypso if he won this tournament. Nonetheless, he simply decided to focus on his job before he heard his boss coming by.

 Their boss, Olivia Hunt, was a woman with tan skin, tits bigger than Ellen's, teal short hair, and brown eyes. She was strict about her job, which was why she was in charge of everything. Though there were some rumors that she was once an active fight club fighter, something that made her scarier than she already was.

 "Terry, Ellen, I need to talk to you both real quick." She said.

 Terry gulped nervously as he heard that, knowing that she would never approach him unless it was something serious. He turned to her as Ellen walked up to her, both afraid of what she was going to say.

 "Can you two tell me he difference between a brothel and a market for the public?" She asked, causing them to shudder, "You do realized how serious this is right?"

 "Yes, ma'am..." They said in unison.

 "You know this means I have to fire you two, right?"

 The two nodded, knowing what she was going to say next.

 "Well, you two just so happen to be in luck," She said, surprising them, "let's make a deal, I'll let you two keep banging in the store, if Terry here fucks me as well."

 The two exchanged glances for a moment before saying, "yes!" and thanking her for letting them keep their jobs. Oliva smiled and left them to their job and told them that if they wanted to fuck right now then they could, so that's just what they did. Terry had Ellen pressed up against some of the products and banged her right there and then. Of course they stopped after a couple rounds and continued their jobs, however.

 On the way home, Terry was wondering who the strange, yet familiar, man was. He swore he had seen him somewhere before and it had been bugging him ever since he left the shop. He finally gave up, however, when they reached his house and walked up the walkway. Once he reached the front door, he noticed a letter tied to the knob and took it off before entering.

 Curious as to what it was, he opened it and found it was from Calypso, reminding him that the event was today and starting in five minutes. He went to the living room and made sure Dick Souls was still in there before turning on the headset and entering the game while Ellen did God knows what in the kitchen. He entered the game itself and found that he was in the private chatroom wit the hundreds of players once more, however, this time it looked like a king's throne room and had a table able to seat 200 players.

 He looked up at the player count and also found that there were 101 players in here this time. Wondering who the new player was, he decided to walk through the crowd and accidentally bumped into a player using the Griffith Avatar.

 "Ah, sorry." He apologized.

 "Hold on, I recognize that voice, little buddy?" The Griffith asked, him recognizing that voice as well.

 "Molg?"

 "Holy shit, little buddy!" Molg said and got him in a bear hug.

 "Okay... Molg... too tight..." Terry said as he digitally suffocated.

 "Sorry," Molg said and put him down, "So you got a copy too huh?"

 "Yeah, didn't realize you got one either."

 "Hey, looks like Calypso's about to talk." Molg said, noticing that Calypso had stepped into view.

 Calypso looked around the throne room at the players, possibly smirking or whatever.

 "Welcome back everyone, how was your experience of Dick Souls yesterday?" She asked.

 She gained mixed responses from that question, the answers ranging from "great" to "fantastic" to one guy even saying he didn't bother leaving the tutorial. Terry didn't bother to respond though, just like Molg.

 "I'm glad we all enjoyed it, today we updated the game. This update introduces a new event and several bug fixes my Beta Tester found. Could our celebrity step up to the throne please?" Calypso said.

 Just as she did, a man in a GiantDad Avatar walked through the crowd. People looked in awe at the skin he used, it being a limited edition after all. Only 5 people in existence owned one however, and just who it was became much clearer when Calypso spoke his name.

 "Please welcome Tirith Einwell." Calypso said.

 Everyone stood in shock, not having expected him to be the Beta Tester.

 "Wait, it's THE Tirith Einwell?" Someone asked.

 "It must be! He's one of the only five people with that skin!"

 "I can't believe I'm standing in the same chatroom as the most famous YouTuber since Pewdiepie!"

 Tirith had to walk by Terry, whom was mentally panicking at the current moment. When he did, Tirith looked at him and said, "Nice skin." before moving on to Calypso. Once he reached her, he crossed his arms and looked at the crowd.

 "Anyway, back onto the main subject at hand, today I'll be introducing an event. The prize will be will vary depending on your rank. The prizes are split into ten leagues, the tenth will receive 1000 Pleasure, the ninth will receive 5000 pleasure, and so it goes on up to 25,000. However, the number 2 player will receive a custom Ornstein skin while the number one player recieves not only a custom Artorias skin, but also me as a girlfriend as well." Calypso said, recieving awes from the crowd, "for this event, I've added a temporary item called Player Virginities. They are dropped by players but only for those who've signed up for the event. Now then, decide whether or not you'll sign up and then you may enter the game."

 With that, Calypso left and people began making their decision. Terry had decided to join, only because he had already made a deal beforehand and just wanted this to be over in all actuality. Once it was done, he was brought to the main menu before he hit the load game option. He found himself right where he left off and moved to the bonfire before lighting it. Once that was done, he made his way over to a body hung over a well and tapped the flame to gain three virginities. After that, he used one of them and walked back to the bonfire while using a second so he could possible kindle it.

 Resting at the bonfire he used the virginities to become human once more, however, instead of saying humanity restored the words, "VIRGINITY RESTORED" appeared before him. He sighed after reading this, and moved on to the graveyard, wondering what she did to the skeletons. He noticed the Crestfallen Knight had also ganged, but didn't bother to talk to him... or should I say her. Well, not talk to her yet anyway. Instead he made his way through the pool of water and to the graveyard. He scanned the areas and saw no bones scattered about, assuming that they were hiding somewhere. He decided against it however, making his way towards Undead Berg.

 He put his arms behind his head as he walked, taking in the view of the area around him before continuing on his way to the staircase. As he moved on, he suddenly found out he was being invaded and read the username, "Sigfried25". Looking around, he decided he'd simply wait over by the bonfire. He heard the footstep from the Dark Spirit nearby before deciding to get up and keep himself ready. He kept his eyes focused on where the Dark Spirit would arrive from, and then she did. The dark spirit ran in his direction, not actually noticing him yet. she looked away for a moment and he took the chance to slowly creep behind her, making sure his footsteps were as soft and quiet as possible. Once he was directly behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back. He unclasped her armor before he took his cock and rammed it into her pussy, moving his hips at a quick and relentless pace. He began rubbing her stomach while his other hand moved up to her breast and twisted her nipple. The girl's moans filled firelink as he relentlessly fucked her, bringing her health own quickly as well. Soon enough, the girl came hard before going limp in his arms as she disappeared.

 Terry sighed before he got back up and walked over to the Crestfallen Knightess, deciding to see what she had to say. He hit the interact option and noticed the fuck option was there as well. Thinking it over for a moment, he decided he'd rather not listen to her go on about whatever it was she had to say and just decided to hit the fuck option.

 "You Hollows are all the same aren't you? Then again, who am I to judge the undead? Nonetheless, come here." She said and stood up.

She tossed aside her chainmail before she placed a hand on his shoulder and the other she used to stroke his cock. After a moment, she got to her knees and began to bob her head up and down his shaft while stroking the rest. Terry let off a few soft moans as she went on, bucking his hips as well. Soon she stopped, however, and pushed him to the ground before taking his member and positioning herself over his tip. She began to take in his member inch by inch, letting off a small moan as she did. She soon began to bounce on his cock, placing her hands on his chest while he began bucking his hips upward. Her moans soon became louder as her walls tightened around his throbbing cock, showing sings that he was going to cum soon. After half a minute, both of them climaxed at once, ending their small session.

 "Now, off with you." She said.

 Terry then got up and made his way to Undead Berg, expecting quite a bit of sex on the way there. After ascending the first flight of stairs, he witnessed he first girl, whom only wore a cloth that barely covered her breasts and pussy. This case was the same with the other undead that hopped down from the second flight of stairs. the first one got on her hands and knees before she licked the bottom of his shaft before the other undead came and kicked the one below onto her backside and sat atop her before leaning forward so their breasts were pressed against each other. Terry got down on his knees quickly and pushed his member into the girl on top before switching to the other girl for a bit. He repeated this action for a bit until the girls had both reached their orgasm, then noticed one had an item he could pick up.

 Tapping on the fire, he found it to be a shortsword, something he could use until he found a better weapon. He equipped it, and moved on towards the Hollow soldier at the edge of the cliff. He baited her into attacking him while avoiding the firebombs that one was throwing down on him. He lured her over to a safe spot and parried a strike from her sword before snipping the straps on her armor with his own. The Hollow's A.I. noticed this and smirked before she removed the rest of her armor and began stroking his cock, smiling before she felt him spank her. She looked back before he spun her around and bent her over so he could press his cock inside of her. She moaned out and remained in the position he set her in while he held her wrists back and moved his hips at an animalistic pace. Soon she came like all his other opponents and fell forward with another item for him.

 On her was the Hollow Soldier's Armor and shield, something that would help him greatly. He used some of his Estus and pressed forward up the staircase. Another Hollow with cloths barely covering her and an Armored Hollow soldier awaited him. The Hollow throwing firebombs tossed one towards him but missed when he rolled towards her and groped her. She moaned out and the other undead did as the other one from before did and tossed her armor aside. He laid back and waited for the one in cloths to ride him while the other one allowed him to eat her out. The two undead hollows moaned out as he bucked his hips upward and worked his tongue skillfully, them leaning in to kiss as it went on. Soon enough, the girls had let loose their climax and fell to Terry's side, tired and satisfied. He got up a used another Estus before making his way up the last staircase in Firelink to Undead Berg.

 Entering the aqueduct, he looked in the direction a giant rat would have been and made his way towards it, only to find that it was amore womanlike, but still bore it's gray fur covering it's back, hips, neck and cheeks while the rest made up her long incredibly wild hair. He approached her and she stood up to look him up and down before smiling and pressing her lips against his. He pulled away and sat against the wall before she sat on his cock and bounced on his lap. He moved his head forward and began suckling off her breasts while his hands gripped her ass tightly. She let off loud moans that echoed through the aqueduct along with the sound of skin slapping against skin. The rat girl soon met her end and let off a loud pleasured scream before Terry set her across from him and grabbed the purple moss clump, however in this it was called a Purple moss lube.

(Shadowangel615 looked at the paragraph ahead and shook his head in pure disappointment, wanting to hang himself before he realized that he was still writing the story)

 He sighed and noticed the meter that had been building, assuming that was poison and was quite curious as to what it would do. He decided on looking into it another day before he made his way to the actual Undead Berg. Going up one last flight of stairs, he was met with two undead, both in cloths. The first one walked towards him, weapon at the ready as he walked towards her. He ducked under her swing before he disarmed her and pushed her to her knees before bending her over with her ass up high. The other undead threw her weapon aside as she approached to pull him off the other undead and leave him in the ground. the two undead got on both Terry's sides so they could lock their legs with each other and rub his cock with their clits. He moaned at the feeling before he broke free and took one beneath him and pounded her. The other on felt her ally wrap her arms around her thighs pull her down so she could rest her head on her hip while Terry moved in to use his tongue. Finally, after a few more minutes and due to the author's neglection to continue writing this part, the two came and laid there panting heavily. 

(Shadowangel615 looked over his work once more and said to himself, "Why am I still writing this?")

 Another approached him from across the bridge, smirking to herself cockily as she tossed away her weapon and ran her hands along her hips seductively. He stood their and waited until she was closer before he grabbed her hand and bent her over the wooden rail before inserting himself into her. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed along with the undead's moan's as he moved his hips into her quickly. He noticed the undead look back towards him and grip his wrist as he gripped her hips, assuming that she was about to cum, which she did. He left another came at him, diving onto him before rubbing her clit along his shaft a bit. She then lifted herself up and took his length inside her, moving up and down at a quick pace. He used another Estus as she did and felt her walls tighten once more before he felt her cum.

 She fell to his side and he stood, smirking at how victorious he was so far. He made his way through a fog wall and approached a body with an item. He tapped the fire and found a firebomb, however, he noticed that it's design was white instead of it's normal color. He read the description and found that it brings anyone the fire touches closer to a powerful orgasm. He equipped it into his hotbar and decided to give it a try some time before he made his way up the stairs and out onto a short bridge. Suddenly, a Drake appeared, it's form much like the dragons, except she had short red and black hair. He watched her fly away before he went to the courtyard like area and became surrounded by Undead.

 Three of them ran towards him as one shot from above. He stepped aside to avoid the first one's strike and she tripped. She looked up and noticed his erection before she beckoned her sisters in arms to come over. He sat back and watched as the first one sat on his lap while the other two Sat on their knees and watched. The undead smiled as she bounced on his cock while he gripped her ass tightly, the other undead starting to get wet just from watching. Soon enough, the first came and he set her aside before moving on to the second, this time getting her on all fours. The third undead watched him bang her relentlessly, rubbing her legs together as she waited for her turn. Terry drank one more estus before he felt the girl cum and looked at the third girl as she got up excitedly before jumping onto him and having him hold her up while he banged her. The girls loud moans were accompanied by the sound of their skin slapping against each other. He spanked her a couple times and watched her health decrease before he pressed his lips against hers. Finally, the last bit of health went down and the girl came.

 He then focused his eyes on the crossbow-wielding undead. He rolled under a bolt before dashing up towards the undead. She aimed her crossbpw tpwards him, but he swept it aside and smirked. The undead seemed to have no clue on what he was doing before he tore her armor off. She looked in shock and fear before he threw her to the ground and placed his tip against her core. She shook her head as she looked up in fear, begging him not to, but he decided to be a cold hearted bastard and pressed his cock into her anyway. He felt a warm fluid on his cock and looked to see blood, realizing that this was one way to get virginities in this game. He shrugged ti off, knowing it was just a game, and began moving his hips at a quick pace, splattering blood all over the place. Soon the area had become a bloody mess as tears streamed down the undead's cheeks, him still not feeling anything. Soon, she came and curled up, sniffling from the experience she had just gone through. He walked over to the nearby bonfire and lit it before he rested.

 He decided this wou;ld be a good place to stop and take a break at before entering the pause menu and saving and quitting. He took off the helmet and sat up before looking for Ellen. He found her in the kitchen, wearing nothing but a sweater and her panties. She looked up at him and smiled before the doorbell rang.

 "Must be the boss, I'll get it." She said and got up to go to the door.

 He watched Ellen get up to go over to the front door and heard her and Olivia's voice. He watched as his boss came from around the corner and into the kitchen before nodding and waving, which she did as well.

 "So, where do we go to start this?" She asked.

 "Anywhere's fine." He said and smirked.

 She smiled before dropping her coat to reveal that she wore nothing underneath aside from a pair of teal stockings. He watched her as she got to her knees and undid the button on his pants before unzipping them.

'Best. Boss. Ever.' He thought as he felt her sucking him off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the second chapter guys, but I have a question for y'all, who's your favorite Dark Souls character from any of the Soulsborne games and why? Comment your answer down below. My favorite character, personally though, has to be Artorias due to his appearance, legend, and his story that turned him into a legend even though it was all woven by Alvina probably to keep others from trying to go to the Abyss themselves and try to kill Manus. Still, his legend is an epic tail of a knight with an unbendable will of steel who sets off to a pit of insanity and corruption to save the world as he knew it from sinking into this corrupt darkness, but failed his duty and was driven mad because of it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this terribly written story, if you actually ended up liking this though, I urge you to leave ideas for what the spells could do in the comment section or features this version of Dark Souls could have. Thank you for reading.
> 
> P.S. If this story actually does good I'll make a Sequel for Dark Souls II


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